Okay, so here's the thing. The last entry I have posted here, journal-wise, is the one that I posted more than a year ago. Sorry about that...

*ahem* But my deviations, the Eternal Immortal story...I'll get to that. The reason I haven't posted anything new with that is that our home computer was ready for an update, and my mother accepted it. Problem was that it was a faulty update and it just stuck in a start-up cycle. It couldn't even get to the desktop. So we had to get the important stuff, like Itunes and pictures of me growing up, off the harddrive and onto something else, like a thumbdrive. We were lucky we got those, because the original harddrive was toast.

So, basically, if I had written anything new in the way of Eternal Immortal, it's been gone for a long while. But I didn't, because I was having writer's block. I couldn't think of how to start it. So everything's okay. I'm just stuck in a rut. Besides, I'm a junior this year, and I'm trying my hardest to get my grades good enough to get accepted on my mother's car insurance so I can DRIVE, and after that, so I can go to a community college, then move on to college itself. Blahblahblah, stressangstangst....you know the drill.

School's started again. Yes I'm late getting to it. But......uh, I'm too lazy. I don't want to write this. See you later, suckers.

Just a joke I found in a Tidbits paper.


A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You've been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I've lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer He had made the cat.

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, from dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sleeping on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened her and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"

Ah, funny.

I got a restriced phone call today on my cell. Some guy that sounded like my boyfriend said that he was calling for Hans to break up with me. At first I thought it was a joke. But it wasn't.

He was a coward because he didn't want to talk to me and probably didn't want to feel the guilt or hear my pain. Shithead. His friend, Dustin, texted me multiple times and we had a fairly civil conversation. He says he's been with his current girlfriend for two years. Lucky. He told me Hans said that he couldn't feel the connection anymore and that I could annoying to be around sometimes. That didn't break my heart as much as the "no connection" thing. I know I'm annoying, but I was just happy.

Last week, he was avoiding me like the plague and would barely say hi to me when I greeted him. He'd disappear and I wouldn't be able to find him. I knew things were going downhill in my head, but I woulndn't believe myself. I hate it when I deny myself.

Now I'm more pissed than sad, even though I cried a bucketload of tears and nearly made myself sick with anguish. Pissed because he was a coward, and I thought he was better than that. I mean, the only thing I could think was "Grow a set, man!" Jesus. Don't make your friend do the dirty work.

I guess I can't blame him. He's never had to break up with a girl before. (I'm his first gf.) The least he could do was be a man and tell me himself. Christ. *sigh* He's gonna give me a call later. Maybe, but probably not, we'll be able to make things work again. Like I said, probably not, but I can dream.

I can't believe him. And I can't believe I still have tears left over.

I realize it's been more than a month since I wrote, so...yeah. I seem to have grown a boyfriend lately. Actually, since the twentieth. I've just been getting used to everything.

And no, it's not who you think. It's not Shane and it's not my secret admirer. It's actually a boy I'd met at the beginning of the year. Just recently, he and I became friends. Then he gave me his phone number and I started to get nervous so I didn't call him. He just asked for my cell # and he called me. The first call lasted up to three hours. Then my battery ran low and I said I'd see him later.

The next day, he called again and we had a long conversation that we'd left off the day before. He didn't ask me out, but the conversation was pretty confusing. Or it would have been for anyone who didn't hear the first call. And I fell on my bed afterwards thinking...'I'm someone's girlfriend.'

His name is Hans K. Which is a bit funny because my name if Hannah K. Heehee....He's the sweetest guy I've ever seen, he listens to me a lot, he puts up with my craziness, he doesn't mind if I'm not feeling up to kissing, he keeps saying things like, "Whatever makes you happy makes me happy", his self-proclaimed theme song is 'White and Nerdy' because he literally is. But that's what I love about him. He accepts me for everything that I am and everything that I'm not. And on more than one occasion he has told me that he gets a boner just from watching me be myself. Which is not sexy. It's not repulsive, but not sexy.

He treats me so well, and he makes me feel so happy!

Just a day or two ago, he told me he'd have to go to Nebraska over Spring Break to visit his mom and sister. I told him that I'd miss him (because I have nothing better to do over the Break than homework and I'm not going anywhere). He told me that he'd miss me too....then he took my hand and said, "But I'll never miss this." I know it sounds weird, but it touched me right where I knew it felt good. (Not there.) I wish I could be his girlfriend forever! And it's only been a week!

Aaaah! I'M IN LOVE!!

Hans

Luv, Yin0123